Do you find one part of you feels a certain way and another part totally opposite? Perhaps you really love the science and you’re a bit of a science geek like me but then you’re spiritual at heart and you feel there is more to life than just 1 or the other?
Perhaps there is part of you that really wants to push to achieve your goals but another part that feels like you might get burned out so retreats and hides and pulls back?
With my background in Science and Psychology and studying Positive Psychology, for a long time, I didn’t embrace my spiritual side for so long. I was a very spiritual child and I pushed it right down as I learned the science and learned about the brain. I saw them as duality, opposites.
It was the same as pushing and pulling, I didn’t know when to push and achieve my goals, do my TEDx, stand on stage, speak publicly, and when to pull back, I had big dreams and goals and even though my body was screaming at me to stop I didn’t feel like totally retreat was the right answer.
When I found out I was a highly sensitive person this explained so much for me but I also found out I was high sensation seeking which means we actively seek out sensations (what a paradox!). So this duality feeling was very natural and when I started to bring all of me to the table this is when stuff really started to fall into place, it wasn’t one or the other, it was both and both were beautiful.
Yes you may need more recharge time and boundaries but I also if you have big dreams you want to work towards then you don’t want to be held back.
You may have heard ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ so you push on through even though you’re feeling drained, the neuroscience actually shows this is incorrect. When we push on through what happens if you are activating the fight flight response, so your body tries to give you warnings and then it starts to shut down and may even make you physically ill as you flood your system with cortisol.
Its through compassionate resilience, resting when you need to rest and being super kind to yourself that you build resilience and you’re able to achieve those dreams and start to move more into action mode (actions that are right for you and your unique style of course). This is all backed by the science of Positive Psychology and research specifically on Compassion.
So what can you do to balance when you are feeling this push/pull when you are feeling like the 2 sides of you just won’t meet and you yoyo between one and the other?
1.Get really clear on your long term goal and vision and use this as a sense check – does the decision you make (i.e. Push/pull) relate to your long term vision? For me this was key as doing TEDx did help me with my long term vision so I went into a bit more action mode with this than say working in London so much in my corporate job.
2.Check in with your intuition – think about a decision you made in the past that turned out to be the right one, what happened in your body? That will be your ‘tell’ see how your body reacts when you think about the polarities and the decision.
3. Remember both sides of you are beautiful and they have their purposes, it doesn’t have to be one or the other. You can be science and spiritual you can be ‘out there’ but also spend time retreating and honoring yourself. What would beautiful balance look like for you?
Do you need support connecting in with your intuition? When you work with me we will look at your unique design and strengths to get this balance working in a way that’s right for you. Get in touch if it resonates.