“I am tired and broken down.” “I am confused and lost with no one to guide me.” “No one except a couple of people, believes in my dreams.” “I am scared and afraid, but I cannot let that hold me back.” All of those sayings we’ve felt and even heard.
I am sitting here writing this blog knowing that my whole life, I was constantly being underestimated. I am sitting here having a clear vision for my life.
I am Catlin Smith and I am chasing my dreams. I struggle with anxiety and depression. I fight everyday against those taunting thoughts. “Your not good enough.” “You’ll never succeed.” All of those words, I’ve heard many times before. While my anxiety and depression make life hard, it’s also given me a new found purpose. A reason I should follow my dreams and share my story. Earlier this year, before I turned 21, I published my first book. Things were great for awhile. I was getting messages from friends and family saying how I have inspired them. But then one day, it all just stopped.
This is my dream. I’ve dreamed about this since I was a kid and now nothing is happening. I would think. I tell people to stop what their doing and follow their heart. But yet, those insecurities were taking over me and I was losing hope that my career as an Author would ever take off. My attitude and everything I had created, was going downhill faster than I expected. My depression was slowly creeping its way back into my mind. I had to figure out other ways to make money and be happy. I had to redefine the word happiness. I wasn’t happy at all. I wasn’t happy that my dreams were failing me. Or was it that I was failing my dreams. I sat in my room dazed and confused when I had this life plan that wasn’t going according to my scheduled time.
For women, we have this chronological clock in our heads that stuff needs to happen on our time. I was learning a lesson that just because my dreams weren’t taking off when I had a plan for them too, doesn’t mean I can feel sorry for myself. I wanted to be this big role model for women. I would post on social media and my posts would only get a few views. So in order to make my dream become reality, I worked harder and would sit at my desk for hours at a time coming up with new ideas that I could do to bring more views to the content I was posting. When that idea would fail, I would come up with more ideas and I became more creative and my mind started to shift from feeling sorry for myself to wanting to try harder until something eventually worked.
Here I am as this 21 year old girl not letting fear get in the way of her dreams. Age is just a number. The positive impact you make today, will affect thousands and maybe even millions in the future.
I am now creating opportunities for myself and being a guest speaker at conferences.
In order for me to keep my mind straight, I do one of the following: I write in my journal or I read and meditate. A book I absolutely love is Girl Wash Your Face and Girl Stop Apologizing both by Rachel Hollis. Her books are funny but real. My book talks about the similar stuff Rachel talks about. I talk a lot about having faith and not being afraid to fail. You can get your own copy using the link below!
Leave your mark and chase your dreams!
If you would like some support chasing your dreams like the amazing Catlin please get in touch with us at www.thehappinessbranch.com